


"Please don't go."

by prettylittledarkstar



Series: A Collection of Reylo Shorts [4]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: AU, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Modern AU, Reylo - Freeform, and in these struggles we find peace, beautiful people beautiful problems, i love writing these two
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-26
Updated: 2017-07-26
Packaged: 2018-12-07 12:39:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11623731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettylittledarkstar/pseuds/prettylittledarkstar
Summary: Will our love be enough?





	"Please don't go."

 

 

“Last time I’ll ever see you, baby,” she whispered to his sleeping form that lay sprawled on the couch, his face smooth with the refuge of the temporary quiet in his mind. Rey looked at him, trying to memorize every detail before she vanished forever. The blue light from the TV shone on him, revealing the mass of tattoos that covered him from head to toe, peeking out from the collar of his shirt, spiking out of his sleeves. One hand rested against his unkempt hair and the other rested on his stomach, rising and falling with each breath he took, and her eyes focused on the black ink that stained the skin where his thumb met his wrist.

_R._

R for Rey. R for his girl, his lover, his light. She had done it herself, in the dull light of a rundown motel room similar to the one she stood in now. With a smile on her face and a grimace on his, she had taken a needle to his skin, poking and prodding to get her desired look. And when it was over, he admired it and complimented her on how nice it looked before giving her a smattering of kisses on her face and neck; and she had giggled like a child, happy as could be.

But in this moment, she no longer smiled but stared solemnly at him. He looked so peaceful, so unknowing that she thought she might die for up and leaving him like this. But she had to. Ever since they left her small town in light of their love, they fought over nearly everything. They had no work, no money, no home. For months, Rey thought they could keep their relationship alive just through the passion of their love, but she was mistaken. Love isn’t just what you give in bed; it’s also what you give in words and gestures and silly dates.

She tried not to think about their lack of silly dates recently as she lifted a half-empty water bottle off the coffee table and placed a note beneath it.

“I’ll love you forever,” she breathed, having to clasp her hand over her mouth to keep her lip from quivering.

With the tiniest glance upward at him, she turned and tiptoed her way to the door, careful not to knock her bag into anything. Nothing saddened her more than leaving him, but it had to be done. Her whole life she had been sitting around, until he came along and (quite literally) flipped her upside down, carrying her away from the monotonous life she had known. He gave her adventure, gave her experience in things she never thought she would do. He opened her eyes to a world of beauty and thrills. Yet recently, she felt like she was back in that awful one-horse town, sitting on her knees and crying to a god who never answered her prayers.

Rey’s fingertips brushed the door handle, but before she could even turn the knob, a raspy voice echoed through the suite and startled her.

“Rey? Where are you goin’, honey?” Kylo mumbled sleepily, sounding curious. When she didn’t turn around, he seemed to realize that she was upset. Her shoulders tensed as she heard him turn off the TV and stand, and she so badly wanted to bolt. But she knew he deserved some sort of an explanation.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked, concern lacing his voice.

“I’m leaving,” Rey said quietly, hoping her shaky voice wouldn’t give away what her hiding eyes already did.

“Where to?”

“No,” she replied, her voice stronger this time, “I’m _leaving_.”

She turned to face him after the room rang with his silence, embarrassed to be showing him her tear-soaked face. A look of confusion crossed his face before he realized what she meant. And after he understood her, he shook his head tiredly, rubbing one side of his face to clear his foggy mind.

“Come back to bed, babydoll. We’ll figure this out in the morning.” His voice was tiredly cautious, as if he was speaking to a frightened animal. Rey shook her head softly, failing to fight back the tears that already streamed down her cheeks. “You had a hard day. C’mon,” he urged, gesturing with his hand for her to come. But she shook her head again, this time letting out a frustrated cry. Why was he making this so damn _hard_? Didn’t he understand that this hurt her and she wanted it done quickly?

Kylo approached her slowly, and made sure to bring out those puppy dog eyes he was so good at making whenever something went wrong. Rey tried to shy away from him, but she couldn’t help herself when he gently gripped her by the arms—his touch melted her into a puddle every time. And his inked skin contrasted so harshly next to her freckled, bare skin; it was one of the things she loved about their dynamic: the way their differences brought them even closer.

“Listen to me, darlin’,”—he looked right into her sad eyes, searching for something—“I know things are rough right now. It might seem so wrong, but something about us feels right."

"We can't—It's not—I have to _go_."

"We can do this together, we can. I love you so much, Sunlight. Can we make it?” he asked calmly, careful not to upset her any more than she already was.

“I-I,” she stuttered. She hadn’t been prepared to discuss this with him. She just planned to leave. “I don’t know.”

Then, thinking over it, she whispered, “No. Please don’t do this. I can’t take it.”

“Hey—Calm down. It’ll be okay. We just can’t lose sight of what’s important. Don’t you remember the way it felt to be free, like no one could ever stop us? We’re so close to getting that back.” His tone was soothing, but it only upset Rey more. No matter what the situation, he always made leaving so hard for her. It felt like a betrayal to her.

“But I don’t feel free anymore, Kylo. I feel trapped, like a bird in a cage. We aren’t making money and I’m scared. I’m scared that we won’t ever get out of this state,” she confessed, her chin trembling. He softly brushed his thumbs against her cheeks over and over to dry away each tear that fell.

“Things always have to get worse before they get better, sweet thing. And this is the brunt of it. I’ve got steady work now, and you’ve been sellin’ those hair bows, haven’t you? We’ll be alright.”

“I-I don’t think we will. It just doesn’t feel right. Doesn’t feel safe.” She crossed her arms protectively over her chest, as if somehow that would save her from the devastatingly sad man in front of her. He dropped his hands from her face and watched her morosely.

Seconds passed.

When they both made no move towards each other, Rey tried to quickly open the door and bolt. But her plan was foiled after Kylo pleaded her in a pitiful voice. Her stomach clenched as she tried not to let him get to her.

“Please don’t go,” he begged, more emotional than she had ever seen him, “Is our love not enough?”

And suddenly, she saw what he did. She hadn’t realized he cared that much. Living a life as a foster kid, unloved, in and out of homes all her life, she expected nothing but possibly a phone call from him the next morning. But she had to come to terms with the fact that he loved her, and it wasn’t some sick joke.

“Remember what you told me that night on the dock, Rey?” he implored, his voice desperate and cracking, “You told me that no matter what kind of hell we went through, that we’d get through it _together_. You and me, ride or die forever.”

She remembered it like it happened yesterday. Rey had felt so free. It was a mid-summer night and the air was sticky with the heat of July. The stars shined bright overhead, and she and Kylo were planning something big. She had snuck out of her foster family’s house by crawling out the window of her temporary room, one which she hadn’t even unpacked in. Kylo had stood at the bottom, short a few tattoos, staring up at her as she scaled the tree next to the house like a professional. Each foot down meant one foot she gained closer to him, and soon she was sprinting to him and jumping into his arms.

“Hey, Sunlight,” he had breathed into her hair as he spun her around, “Happy birthday.”

“Thank you, darlin’,” she whispered back, closing her eyes and basking in the love he emanated. It was midnight of her 18th birthday, the day she no longer had her name in the system, the day she was rid of the horrible social workers breathing down her back, the day she was _free_. And to celebrate, she and Kylo were taking cupcakes and going down to the dock to swim in the river and love each other good.

Though Kylo Ren had been her lover for quite some time, he had been old enough to drink for a couple of years now, and no one in town thought it proper for such a nice young girl to be with a troubled, tattooed, older man. But Rey could also hear them whisper, “At least she’s got no family to disappoint,” and look the other way.

It bothered her very little of what others thought, for she had nothing to lose.

She had hopped into his beat-up pickup truck and they drove off to the river, singing songs and sneaking kisses between each verse. And when they arrived, he practically pulled her from the car, picking her up and carrying her to a blanket he had already set up, his mouth on her the entire time, engulfing her in the affection he knew she deserved.

They made love, they skinny dipped, splashing each other with water, and they shared their hearts with each other like they never had before.

"Before you, I had no one,” she had whispered as she sat in his lap in nothing but a towel, her legs hanging off of the dock and swinging ever so slightly, “Well, no one who loved me quite like you do.”

He had chuckled, burying his face into the crook of her neck and planting sweet little kisses up to her jaw. He held her in his warm embrace, his strong arms the unwavering force that had kept her sane all these years.

“Before you, I never gave a damn about anyone,” he mumbled back, “But goddammit, you’re the sweetest, prettiest little thing I ever have seen.” He paused to admire her before continuing, “And the strongest, and the funniest. You’re an all around peach, baby.”

Her chest fluttered with warmth, and she felt his words sink into her like medicine, taking away the pain of her train wreck life and healing all wounds.

“When are we gonna get out of this town, Ren?” she had asked him suddenly, a desire to leave sinking into her bones with each passing second.

“Whenever you’re ready, Sunlight,” he replied softly, lazily tracing his fingertips across her collarbone.

“Let’s go now,” she said.

“Right now?” Rey could see his eyes widen underneath the moonlight.

“Yes. But…Is there a problem? I can wait,” she said quickly, not wanting to rush anything.

“Nope. We just have to grab your stuff.”

“Okay.” She sat up straight, her heart thudding in her chest at the excitement she felt. Then she slumped back down again, deep in thought.

“Uh oh,” Kylo had said, “You’re thinkin’. What’s going through that brain of yours?”

“We’re invincible, right?”

“Only if we believe we are,” he responded, going along with whatever it was that she was getting at.

“So if we’re invincible, it means nothing can break us. No matter what kind of hell we find ourselves in, we can always get through it together. You and me, babe. We’ve done it so far.”

“You’re damn right,” he had agreed, a smile breaking out on his face.

As they now stood by the door, Rey recalled how she felt in those early morning hours: young, in love, and desperate for a home.

But home, she now realized, wasn’t always a place. Sometimes it was a person.

And sometimes you lose sight of that. But once you find it again, the results are astonishing.

“I’m right here, and I love you. Us against the world, remember? Please, please don’t go,” Kylo said almost forcefully as hot, angry tears threatened to spill over onto his cheeks. He was holding onto her shirtsleeve as if his life depended on it, and perhaps it did.

And suddenly it hit her. What the hell was she doing? This man had stood by her side in the darkest times of her life, never complaining, always comforting, and now she wanted to up and leave him because she didn't feel like her life was going in the right direction? For someone to know nothing but his love, she was acting selfishly.

And Rey, emotional and now having the reality of what she was about to do hit her, looked him in his teary eyes and spoke.

"I love you too. I—" She couldn't even finish her sentence before her voice broke off, replaced by an unexpected sob. He took her into his arms as her face crumpled, gently and soothingly rubbing the back of her head with his hand, his chin resting on her head. Her bag fell off her shoulder and onto the floor with a thud. She let her arms hang at her sides and pressed her face into his chest, her tears soaking his t-shirt.

As her shoulders shook with silent sobs, she allowed herself to focus on his heartbeat, a stabilizer within the chaos of her mind. They stood like that for a long while, Kylo whispering reassurances as she took in his calm and his warmth.

When she felt like she had calmed down enough to speak, the first thing to come out of her mouth was an apology.

"I'm so sorry. I just feel like nothing’s ever going our way, like we’ll never have what we’re working so hard to get.” Her voice was barely above a whisper, and Kylo had to pull away to hear her.

Then, his eyes lit up humorously. He brushed his hands over her face to wipe away the sadness and said, “I didn’t wanna tell you so soon, but since you’re up and leaving all of a sudden, I might as well.”

Her grief was quickly replaced with curiosity and she cocked her head to the side, eager to hear what he had to say.

“We’re getting that house with the big front porch, Sunlight, don’t you worry about that. We’ll have a big ol’ kitchen, with one o’ them fancy dishwashers just like you always dreamed, and a little building out back for any one of the projects you’ve got. And a huge bedroom, bigger than this motel room here. We’ll have it all, darlin’. Wait and see. I’ve already got the payments lined up; we just need a little more money, and we’re all set. I wanted to wait to tell you on an anniversary or somethin’, but there’s no sense in waiting now.”

The prettiest house that Rey had ever seen sat two states over and called to her for years. As soon as she laid her eyes on it, she couldn’t look away. She often told Kylo about it, and he always told her how great it was, if not for the price. Every one of her dreams was filled with visions of living there, but she never thought it would become a reality, and she certainly hadn’t known he would save up for it, save up for her. “The brick house on the Old Country Road?”

“Just the one.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> from 7-26-17
> 
> \-----
> 
> send me a prompt via my tumblr (@prettylittledarkstar) and i’ll write something for it!

**Author's Note:**

> mini playlist aka just one song:  
> on our way-LDR
> 
> from 7-26-17 
> 
> tell me what you thought! i love hearing from you, as it's the only payment i receive for doing this. <3
> 
> xx anya


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